Today was a good day.
My withdrawals from caffeine were much more subdued. I wasn't so tried and I didn't feel any
headache pain. Tomorrow should be even easier. I think I’ll be able to make it to the end of
the challenge!! What a difference a day
makes.
I’m glad to see many of you have decided to take this
challenge. It’s because of you that I
carry on with my commitment. What kind
of leader would I be if I didn't set the example for you? Don’t ask me why I do these things; something
inside of me pushes me to stand front and center. Maybe it’s because I long for attention,
maybe I didn’t get enough of it from my parents. Whatever the reason, there is a driving force
within me that pushes me to lead and press toward success.
I want you guys to be aware that many of the issues you are
dealing with today, such as weight, addictions, anger, lack of focus, grasping
for attention, etc., stem from your past history. The emotions that linked you to those
memories are stored deep within your cellular memory. When events trigger those emotions, you respond
according to those old memories.
Just like me and my coffee.
The aroma, the sounds of it percolating, that first swig, the rush of
adrenaline; all of those senses stimulate old memories within me of when I was
a little girl. My subconscious goes back
in time during my morning ritual of brewing and drinking my coffee. I know it’s not healthy for me to have 3 and 4 cups of coffee; so why do I do it?
It’s because
of that automatic response mechanism embedded in my cells. At one time in my life, it was pleasurable for
me to sit with my mom and dad and drink a cup of coffee. Those were sweet times when everything was
good, when they paid attention to me, when the act of making me a cup of coffee
was a sign of love. I suppose my
addiction to coffee is connected to my longing for that carefree and happy time
in my life.
However, I'm 58 years old now. My dad has passed and I’m actually escorting
my mom through the remaining days of her life.
She’s 90 years old and I'm not that little girl anymore. It’s time for me to accept that my parents
did the best they could and they gave me all the attention they could.
This self sabotage needs to stop. There comes a time in life when you have to
face the reasons why you make the choices that you make. Blaming it on mom and dad is not going to
clear the path for recovery from the pain.
The only thing that will help me is to love myself first by taking the
best care of my body, mind and spirit. Then
I can be clear to love them and those who are near and dear to me.
I want you guys to think about the triggers that drive you to
your habits and addictions. Think about
why you feel safe and familiar with that behavior. What memories do you recall? Do you need to continue this behavior to live
well? Ask yourself, is this habit
serving me or hurting me?
And I want you to be aware that this challenge will keep you
on the straight and narrow for 30 days, however, what will you do when it’s over? I want you to begin to consider what your
life would look like if you continued on this path of self-improvement. Would
it be better or worse? Hum, not a very
hard choice, is it?
Namaste!
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